Silence, Language, & Society: A guide to style and meaning, grace and compassion

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You forgot that every Gay person has hetero parents and siblings, and cousins who love them. Keep up the hatred. Carey, I have to agree and empathize with Sean Cole below. What you consider toxic I can see as injured. I was a very calm happy person, happily serving as a teacher in 2 christian schools. Then I had a school with a very aggressive boss, he would insult me often and I found out he did it to a lot of the women.

That year broke me.


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I worked so hard for my students, who loved me and their parents all loved me, but he yelled at me often — so much that in my stress I had to quit. After that I was like you describe, moved from place to place, waiting to be involved in a positive way, waiting to heal through love and service. What you say to do — not let them become involved — can be seen as shunning. Shunning is the worst kind of treatment and can compound the injury of someone coming from abuse or past shunning, and cause more of the toxic behaviors you describe as everyone needs to feel welcomed and useful, validated.

The suggestions the person gives you is their cry to be welcomed.

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A warmth and family. Also, I have seen leaders who have been hurt, they also have a need to feel in charge and rebel against, in their opinion, the over excited. Whereas very confident and loving leaders I have seen can laugh and redirect that energy. Two schools ago I had a wonderful boss who loved my energy and focused it so I could serve, unfortunately my husband was transferred, while I was the same bundle of energy and excitement in my new job, my new boss took same suggestions and thought of them as threats and criticism.

Seven Principles of a Seeking-God Lifestyle

I noticed the bosses I have had that find my energy and ideas as threats have very rough childhoods with harsh or neglectful fathers. The bosses I have had that love the excitement of me and my coworkers bosses like that tend to attract positive, hardworking, people with new ideas tend to come from stable backgrounds and seem unthreatened by the success and talents of others. One more: of course I see your point. One church-school I worked at had the most wonderful people leave, simply because a few of the toxic members liked to yell literally and put down others.

It was heartbreaking to see such wonderful giving people leave, in the end I left also, wishing our kind leader would have addressed it, but for some reason he would not.


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I like the comment below about looking at the fruit — is the person serving others? If the comments and suggestions are about how they can better serve others ask for more! If they are just criticism of others or without suggestions on what they can do to improve the situation then beware.

Sure sounds like the author was talking about xtians. Their incessant demands that all others do as they demand under some god they can never produce,or end up in some lake of fire thing. Where do they get off telling others to buy into their lunacy?

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Christinan talk about their faith just as you are talking. They get off that train the same way you get off trying to bully and control what other are allowed to believe and say. You may be an example of lunacy, but you are certainly not the last.

The New Parish - InterVarsity Press

Christ is an option and you are not the one who sets the limits on the options of belief. A lot safer too. Such a comment leads toward you never having had a fulfilling relationship. I would honestly have to agree for most of the places I have lived. The men turn agressive and predatory and women turn passive agressive and manipulative. The few nicer places give me hope for people.

And there is a reason for toxic women……. Women in western societies have become toxic because of feminist and Hollywood. I was absolutely desperate to get my husband back. I felt confident that he will actually make my husband to return home and he did! Guilty as charged on a few accounts: I wanted, desperately needed to get involved in something greater than myself. I had no plans to go back home, was determined to stick it out in this foreign country, heal from my head injuries, sober up, and try a change of direction.

But I was really unhealthy.

Marie Howe

Without a good support network. So I crawled back to church and wrote a long email stating my qualifications, hoping to get plugged into a ministry as a volunteer. Wrote another long email to the pastor detailing both the head injury and the nightmare situation at my last job it concerned being mistaken for a criminal, which I absolutely am not. Got plugged into a couple of volunteer opportunities right away, without really spending much time going to church.

Thrown into the deep end. And then things started changing. I got a lot more humble, was willing to put a lot of toxic feelings and attitudes away with the help of God , started working on a couple of ministry projects, and started meeting a lot more people. The religious leaders deemed John the baptist and especially Jesus and His disciples to be toxic.

Appendix: A Gallery of Archetypes

One could almost always say that every one of the OT prophets was deemed to be toxic. Often is the case today that church leaders cannot handle the truth. We are warned to be watchful for false teachers. Yet all to many pastors are not. They will unwittingly endorse the wrong people. Any lay person who knows better will be labeled as a toxic person for the sin of telling the truth about them. The humble will always receive wise council the proud will not. Many so called church hoppers did not leave the previous church, rather the church veered off the narrow path and left them.

The modern churches are all to often hip deep in some form of apostasy. At the same time leadership is as blind as a bat. They dismiss every discernment ministry as being toxic trouble makers. They deem them as being divisive and yet the truth is always divisive. Many pastors see themselves as shepherds tending the flock. In reality they love the seat of honor and the respectful greeting and the job security more than they ought. I could not have said it better myself.

Pride and selfishness seem to be leading more and more congregations. Any truth being told to them is dismissed, confidentiality is ignored and if you have the slightest disagreement you are labeled as a trouble maker. I hope it helps! Over zealous for Christ is never toxic. The litmus paper is to identify the fruits of the tree.

May the LORD continue to shine upon you and show mercy…. Yes, very well said. My pastor is running the church with pride and no Godly counsel. Others began asking and were escorted away also.

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Who was toxic? Seen it time and time again and in the end, truth prevailed each time. They will know that we walk to the beat of a different drum. We walk under the love of God shed abroad in our hearts so richly through Christ Jesus. Love is selfless it rarely thinks of itself,it is edified in seeing another doing well and their life changed. Love is truly a powerful thing able to having life changing effects on the believer as well as the receiver. The God complex is a mental illness.

A severe mental dysfunction putting any god, religion or religious commandment or law above people. You need to see a phycologist. I love living!

I enjoy life. I love God and everyone else! It matters to me…. I love Jesus…. Tracy did his own work.. Rooted in the Word. What about a neighbor who will not allow you to excuse yourself from a casual over-the-fence conversation?

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